Christmas Lights

Its that time of year once again,
I see the signs, I can tell,

the same old tale, the same old claim,
pieces on the board, but we never finish the game,

the Christmas cheer, the cold winter breeze,
lights serenading as I walk down the street,

counting my blessings, a prayer in my heart,
to melt the gates of fate that keep us apart,

parents, children, tis the time for family,
postcards, presents and the Christmas tree,

carols being sung, their voices fill the air,
it's as much happiness as I can bear,

I feel no disdain, only self pity,
I'm not jealous, just guilty of envy,

I remember taking this walk with you,
we spoke of love, promises and dreams come true,

we walked so long together, yet strayed so far,
won the battle, but lost the war,

the little things are always the hardest to forget,
the way you tied your hair, kissed my forehead,

my barren palm reminds me, times have changed,
but the more things change, the more they stay the same,

the older I grow, the lonelier I feel,
the more I trust, the less I heal,

only questions to negotiate, not an answer in sight,
like a bemused bird swaying aimlessly in flight,

the reasons you didn't return I never could see
I was afraid you'd say the reason was me,

you can tell me forever my assumption is absurd,
but silence sometimes speaks louder than words,

there's joy and happiness around me, but I can't sing along,
I'm the forsaken ghost of Christmas, with my own forsaken song,

like a river of diamonds and silk, flows the night sky,
you're happy where you are, and so am I,

you come and go as you please, like the years that pass me by,
these Christmas lights will always be here, and so will I.