Retribution Song

I stand with my back against the setting sun,
there's still a bullet left in my vengeful gun,
wish I halted this carnage before it begun,
now I'm buying time to fix what can't be undone,

A bruise for each mile I've run,
a scar for each torment overcome,
a blister for each right I made wrong,
a curse for each heart I burnt,

Some of you I hurt, some of you I disowned,
I confess my intention was never to harm,
my devout apology to the people I have wronged,
I only gave to the world what I got in return,

An existense with no one to count upon,
the burden of my choices I shall carry alone,
my search for a smile, was met with scorn,
when I pleaded for love, I got hope forlorn,

Happiness and Pain, diverse feelings for some,
to me they both seem as one,
the latter so hard to forget, the previous so hard to treasure,
complaining is not my style, so don't get me wrong,
these words just add rhythm to my retribution song,

So I stand with my back against the setting sun,
the story returns to where it begun,
a bullet with my name in that vengeful gun,
the lord speaketh, your time has come,
embrace the suffering in this life my son,
it'll soothe your journey to the world beyond.

Why does it feel so right?

And you say, you love me tonight,

you kiss me, and you hold me tight,

at this moment, everything seems all right,

emotions, intimacy all at their height,

But how long will this last, how long must I wait,

Till we are together again,

will u ever return, will u miss that train,

just so you can see my smile again,

I am tired of motels and hotel rooms,

I am tired of being your shadow groom,

If everything about us needs to be so discrete,

Let's not love, let's not ever meet,

I want you to stay and never leave,

I want a home, a family and dreams in between,

I want to able to wish for you tonight,

and not find you gone by morning light,

And you say, you love me tonight,

you kiss me, and you hold me tight,

at this moment, everything seems all right,

emotions, intimacy all at their height,

You want my love, my soul, my everything,

then why am I the one waiting for the phone to ring,
my ambitions, my dreams to your door I bring,
yet the nightingale refuses to sing,

Measure these words from a beatles rhyme,

sentiments I'd want you to cultivate,

"And in the end, the love you take,
is equal to the love you make"

So you say, you love me tonight,

you kiss me, and you hold me tight,

at this moment, when everything seems so wrong,

why does it still feel so right?

why does it still feel so right?

Smells like Love

Days, months and years seem to have gone by. But I'm still stuck in that one moment. Like some part of me is frozen in time. Refusing to let go, of that moment. Still trying to hold on to the memory, to the sentiments, to the association and companionship, even if it is hanging by a single string. It keeps reminding me that there was a point of time that I loved someone and someone loved me. That there was a level of intimacy that blossomed, which I may probably never share with anyone else. That familiarity is what I savour and commemorate. Familiarity is such a comforting feeling. Ask a traveler how he feels when he sees a familiar face or returns to a familiar place. Like the emotions going through a mother who finds her long lost child. Looking at you again made me feel that way.

I first tried to believe if I was actually seeing you or was it a figment of my imagination, maybe even a mirage. Maybe my mind had been so deeply affected that it had developed the ability to bring you to life. I reached out to touch you, hesitantly moving my fingers towards your cheek, you felt real enough, your skin felt just like it used to, my fingers recognized it's perfume. But maybe it might still be a dream, so I closed my eyes and let my fingers slip down to your shoulders, when I opened them you were still there. Ohhh...God!! you were actually here, I had been right. A few tears escaped and slipped down my cheek. I smiled to myself and then looked towards the heavens. The Good Lord had shown me mercy. I didn't ask you why or how, questions were not important, the only thing that mattered was that you were here, in front of me, you had returned. This was the moment I had been stuck in all this while. I remember that day now, so ironical, the same situation, the same characters, the same feelings, but the outcome completely contrary to the present.

As I said, familiarity is such a soothing, tranquilising feeling. You were the same, the same as I had left you, your eyes shimmering like black pearls in the moonlight, you felt the same to the touch and to the senses. I held you close, there was no need to worry anymore. You were safe, you were with me, you were finally home. I had missed you so much. Nothing else in my life fascinated me as much as you, nothing else completed me like you did. This lifetime was too short for me to love you as much as I wanted to, I guess I will need a few more eternities. It's the kind of love they write about in fairy tales and books of fiction. The way we all want it to be, the way we all dream it to be, the way it should be...raw, unadulterated and magical.

Love is so much in our reign and yet so out of our control...you can choose to love...but who...only your Heart decides that...so Love...as much as u can...even in the end if it destroys you...coz it's better to crash and burn than never to fly at all...spread ur wings...Love...love Selflessly...give ur Heart & Soul...in the end if ur left empty handed...you know u gave everything...didn't hold anything back...true feelings cannot be manipulated...they will always stand the test of time...the sweet pain that comes from the inability to control ur pulsating heart...no feeling more fulfilling in this world...that's the only way to love...that's the only love I recognise...the only form in which I understand love...the only way I know how to love.

My soul was smiling for the first time since my emotional exile, I wanted to laugh out loud, scream out, cry and sing with the chorus of the wind, all at the same time. Life does come full circle sometimes, I don't know if this is destiny or if this is meant to last forever, but there is no other way I want life to be. I want to live life one breath at a time now, I never know, my next might be my last. I collect my thoughts, take your hand in mine, kiss you softly, I am a part of you once more...I smell of you again...I smell of love!

Letting Go

Love stands defined when I say your name,
Life's incomplete without you in the frame,
I love you so much I can't begin to define,
you're my heart, my soul, my only valentine,

We have said our goodbye once and many times more,
But every time we return, I love you more than before,
I can read the thought that lingers in those haunting eyes,
"I wish I came back before I became his bride"

Now all that I have is a dream so to say,
that we'll meet someday in a place far away,
the moon will be full and the stars will shine bright,
and I can dance with you all through the night,

I smile to myself at the possibility,
Alas you and I are not reality,
I guess sometimes we should let things be,
The way they were always meant to be,

Back then,I had no reason to love you so,
Now, I have no reason for letting you go,
Times change and so do we,
Loving you remains the perpetual irony.

A Song For You

A few idle papers, a pen and some murky residue,
I set out to write a song for you,
where I should begin, I don't have a clue,
for life as I know it, began with you,

The first time I saw you,
was like a million explosions in my heart,
earth, sun and all between, sang a serenade,
all we did was play our part,

I miss your tender smile and the way you laughed,
how effortlessly you pulled me out of the dark,
the way my heart fluttered when it heard your name,
my dream of us together in a photo-frame,

I could look at you all day, without a moment's rest,
enchanted by everything you did and said,
to you I pledged my every breath,
maybe I did too much, maybe I did too less,

I want to do everything but I cant do anything for you,
I cant do anything except be in love with you,
I would bleed myself dry and my soul I would discard,
if I could just go back to the start,

But I cant do that, I am but a mortal soul,
all that's left in my chest is a gaping hole,
all I am left with is your memory,
all I do is miss you and the way you used to be.